We are better together and as women
I have recently moved my blog from ‘hello, I’m Alet’ to this shiny new blog home. Like I mentioned in the post – being successful in the business of flowering wildly, or if you’d like, blooming – you need a group of key people around you!
None of us can do it alone, and this is me volunteering to partner and journey with you!
I’ve had a rather uneventful life, which has made it really easy to believe I have nothing to offer other women. Until I realised we all suffer with the same sort of things.
Why are We Divide?
The reason why we batter each other with insults is because we are scared to stand out. Scared of being singled out and not meeting the grade.
I can feel heads turning in disagreement, thoughts being uttered, saying – “no, never, we don’t judge.” Let’s get real for a moment, judging outright or verbally is one thing. But too many women I know would rather avoid confrontation and therefore says nothing. The common thing is to think the words and utter them in a “safe” environment where they won’t be judged for it. In this regards
You needed worry, I’m not preaching to the masses, I include myself in these words. I know I’m guilty!
Earlier this year, I enrolled for an
What I didn’t realise at the time, was that we would be “forced” to share our biggest struggles and failures, along with our biggest victories. It caught me off guard. The whole exercise levelled the playing ground. Knowing the ugly side of a person’s story makes such a difference to how you see them. Suddenly you have patience and empathy for their situation. You understand why they rehash the same topic over and again. You come to understand that the small talk is simply a way for them to build up the courage to be vulnerable and open up a little more every time.
I realise all of this must seem trivial, and somewhat obvious. You’d think that as a psychology major (even if it is industrial psychology) would have put two and two together a long time ago and yet I hadn’t.
Stop with the insecurities
One things that has been eating at me for the longest time, is the exploitation of women.
Initially, I had this overwhelming
Four Things I have Learned from Close Interactions with a Group of Women
There are four major things I have learned in the past couple of months. Perhaps they are obvious to you, thinking back, they are pretty obvious! For some reason, I needed to shuffle things around in my head in order to lock the puzzle pieces together properly.
1. Listen to Understand without Judgement
Told you it is obvious! Just to elaborate a bit, it is time for us to push through the small talk, to something deeper. Something more meaningful in order for us all to understand.
Like my experience with the group of women from church, we need to make time for each other. Time to really get down to the hidden feelings behind the walls. Behind the mask and facade, we portray when we post only the pretty bits of our
2. Be Real
Making time for others is a pretty tall order, I know. Even harder than that is to allow ourselves to be open, vulnerable and real. Truth is, no-one is going to open up
Earlier this year when we shared our failures and fears, our facilitator got the ball rolling by being completely vulnerable. The stuff she shared wasn’t trivial matters! It was
3. Common Ground
After we all shared our fears and failures, I realised a couple of things. Some of the stories were excruciating to hear. The realisation that a person could go through so much sorrow and still lives a relatively normal life was
But in the end, our stories weren’t so different. Sure the extent of it differed, the
The realisation that the person next to me, that seemed to have their ducks in a row, wasn’t as put together as I once envisioned.
We all have issues. Baggage if you will. We all have a past, anger and hurt that we deal with every single day, to a lesser or greater extent.
We have common ground, and that makes us, better together!
4. It is scary
Dealing with our issues are scary. Opening Pandora’s box is a reality. There are many things in my past that I would happily leave in it closed off
Rehashing our own hurt helps us heal even further. Healing happens in layers. Opening the box, inflames past hurt, to the point that we find ourselves suffocating in the hurt as we relive the memories all over. But if it helps the person next to you, do it. For their sake and your own, it is worth it!
We are better Together
Some days sitting down and putting thoughts unto paper
Do you believe we are better together? What hidden wisdom can you share with me?