Logan was five when Oliver was born. Oliver turns five today. I mustn’t read to much into it, but I can’t help. My nostalgic heart that works in seasons, is expectant and thrilled at this new season in Oliver’s life.
The first couple of years of Oliver’s life his birthdays reminded me of his birth and his stay in the neo-natal ICU. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and relief.
Last year was filled with mixed emotions – relief, gratitude, anxiety and worry. Grateful that our Oliver was cancer-free. I was relieved that his treatments were successful and that my little, was well-adjusted and happy. When I think back to where we were as a family, I know we were in a tough spot, financially our lives were in shambles, my kids’ emotions were all over the place, my husband unemployed. I was a wreck, I was on the brink of making the decision I made earlier this year. When I look at Oliver’s photo last year, I can see past the smile. I see a sad little boy, trying his best to mask his feelings.
It saddens me, no end! Like I sad, I mustn’t become too
nostalgic emotional – because today, we celebrate.
Today my heart swells with pride and joy, as you smile with your whole heart.
Oliver, my boy – You are five!
Half asleep, yet blowing my candles…
Let’s try that again….
Yesterday Oliver came home with the most beautiful, DIYed – Pinterest approved – party pack. A coffee tin decoupaged with Iron Man and Hulk, lid covered with a handcrafted spider-man web + logo, ribbon with a laminated card with Oliver’s name and photo. Seriously – it was impressive! Beautiful enough for you to want to keep it as a memento.
To the mom that dedicated hours to creating the perfect party-packs for her precious daughter:
- Love your work!
- I intensely dislike you!
Seriously – how am I supposed to compete with that?
Last night Oliver cried his little heart out, because he wanted to take cupcakes and party-packs to school. (Our plan = cupcakes only). His whining went on and on until I eventually gave him his last hiding of his fourth year of existence!
Today I am so grateful for a little boy who’s crying over party-packs, it means I am doing an okay job, shielding him from this cruel world. Yes, I agree it is a first-world kind of problem! I fully realize that I need to raise my kids to work for what they want in life, to be grateful and appreciate everything we do for them. Generally this is my only aim – raising kind, well adjusted and capable human beings.
But just for today, I am glad that his biggest problem in life is party-packs.