Well duh! Of course it does.
A week ago, I celebrated my first birthday, post separation and I shared how little things upset and spoiled my day.
Here’s the thing. The little things ended up being my in-laws. The wording of an SMS upset me. The fact that, up until now I would receive a phone call and now all I got was an awkwardly worded SMS. It is upsetting. It is frustrating.
There are no Sides
Look I don’t expect them to choose my side in the separation. Actually in all fairness, I don’t think there are sides. I think there is a good way of dealing with things and a bad way of dealing with things.
A good way, is to allow my ex and I to make decisions, based on what is best for us and our kids. To support us, to love us and to give us the space to make these decisions free from their scrutiny and criticism.
The bad way involve taking things personally and acting on it. The separation was not an act of rebellion against them. It wasn’t done to spite or inconvenience them. Our decision to separate was a decision made by two adults, we considered our options carefully, including all variables and available facts. It was and is, the best solution I could come up with for the kids and I.
I won’t apologize for doing what is best for my kids and I.
Am I just being sensitive here?
If there is one thing I have learned in the past six months, it is to allow my kid (and my ex) to grieve the relationship and marriage. We’ve all gone through bursts of anger, followed by uncontrollable tears and emotions and right back to anger. It is one mean roller-coaster ride and just as you think you are in control again – you are right back where you started.
I am being too sensitive about it all? Should I give them some space to deal with the looming divorce? Change is completely inevitable – did I fail to considered or calculated the change in behaviour?
Am I expecting too much? Am I expecting too much too soon?