Around this time every year, I reflectively write a birthday post.
I haven’t written a birthday post the last two years. Naturally, 2020 is the ultimate time to reflect as we slow down in isolation and take stock of life as we know it.
The past five months have been an emotional cocktail of sort and honestly, I’ve overanalysed the present so many times over, that I’m feeling a hefty hangover.
So instead of taking stock of the present, I am going to venture out a little further and consider the last 12-24 month.
August 2018 started with an anxious me, waiting for the family advocate to make a recommendation regarding Oli’s well-being that would allow me to finalize my divorce.
Instead it provided my ex with ammunition to try and take Oli out of our home environment, when the family advocate decided it would be in Oliver’s best interest to live with his dad.
On the 29th of August, we received the worst possible news, two days before my birthday.
That night, in between the worst kinds of ugly cries, Albert and I softly said our wedding vows to each other in the presence of our God.
Get Married – Check
I can’t say I remember a whole lot about that birthday, apart from the fact that the house we had lived in for the previous 5 months, was suddenly registered in our names and our home. (Give or take the next 20 years worth of bond repayments.)
Buy a Property – Check.
September forced me to fight for my kid. I received the news that my ex wanted to obtain primary residence of Oli. This would imply that Oliver stays with him and sees me every second weekend.
In preparation for the court date, I cross referenced every single piece of communication every written between us, and compiled a report in order for my advocate to gather enough evidence to ensure my kids stays with me.
Today, I need to remind myself that I am more capable than I give myself credit for.
Mama Bear Perseverance – Check
The weeks leading up to the court date was excruciating, to the point that I nearly lost my mind. In that time, God was extremely gracious towards me. He taught me on a practical level how mind, body and soul are connected.
Hit Rock-Bottom, Break and Gain a greater Understanding about the Mind, Body and Soul Connection – Check
I was petrified the day we went to court.
The likelihood of a judge overturning the family advocate’s recommendation, is extremely slim. That day, on the 23rd of October 2018, the judge looked at all the presented information and ruled in my favour.
Win a Court Battle – Check
Get Divorced – Check
After our court hearing it took another year before my ex agreed to sign the settlement agreement! Thankfully our divorce was finalized, eventually in 2019.
Legally Married my Husband – Check
Which meant I could legally marry Albert.
In our minds and in our hearts we were already married, which meant we could save our money (and pay divorce bills) and have a simple ceremony on the day of our choice.
We opted for the 2nd of February 2020 or simply 2020-02-02. A date with a symbolic meaning and the key to a prophetic word that had been spoken over my life for the past couple of years.
My God restores two-fold what was lost. (Zech 9:12) He Makes us Good as New with a Fresh Start. (Zech 10:6)
Survive the Lockdown – Check
However, I am only testify of the goodness of God during lockdown. He has provided more than we needed every single month as I found myself in a laid off from work situation.
More than that, I have had to look my husband in the eye and thank him for juggling multiple jobs in order to provide for us financially. All while acknowledging that I am capable even when I feel useless.
Embrace Difficult Relationships Despite the Difficulty – Check
Some relationships are hard! Without going into detail, I can fully say that I have embraced relationships with three of my closest family members, despite awkward feelings, anger and often frustration.
In between the major changes and victories, there have been many less significant, yet beautiful changes.
Here are but a few:
Become a Plant Mamma – Check
I never believed I had any green fingers, and now, I am a proud house plant mamma, green house carer and gardening enthusiast. It all started with a little Monstera Deliciosa that I decided to propagate.
Created a product from Scratch – Check
At the end of 2018 I designed and had my very own calendar printed. In some ways, it was a failure and yet, it is a reminder of what I can achieve.
Cheers to better planning, better timing and a better business plan.
Embraced my Curls – Check
During the winter of 2019, the thought of wetting my hair in order to have a ‘good hair day’ literally had chills running down my spine.
In hope of a better life, I was met with ladies who embraced their curls with Day 5 curls using the Curly Girl Method. Meaning that they managed to go without washing (fully wetting) their hair five days!
Don’t get me wrong, frizz is still a friend, however, my hair is so much healthier.
Do you feel the need to write a birthday post annually?
What are some of the little or big victories you want to celebrate this year?