Why don’t we go deeper than chocolate heart and red outfits this Valentine’s Day? Let’s take a leap and chat about the 5 love languages?
I know there are loads of people that are of the opinion that Valentine’s Day (and all the other “holidays”) are simply commercial tactics of businesses to get us to spend a stupid amount of cash on crap we really don’t need.
As much as I know I’m essentially wasting cash, I don’t believe in not celebrating these holidays.
Let me explain, every since Logan was a baby, I vowed that we would celebrate life through every available means. This implies that even public holidays would be a prompt for us to look for meaning and embrace life.
What I didn’t realise what the time and have come to appreciate in the past couple of years, is that celebrating life doesn’t have to mean, overspending on silly nonsense.
Silly holidays, like Valentine’s Day, simply gives us a window to be creative. An opportunity to think deeper and grow our understanding of the holiday.
This post has really been brewing in my head since Christmas. A is Dutch, which means they don’t celebrate Christmas the way we do. They don’t celebrate Father Christmas coming from the North Pole on the eve of the 24th of December to bring gifts.
To them, Christmas is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ.
They do celebrate Sinterklaas on the 6th of December, which is similar to the story of Father Christmas, however, it refers to Saint Nicholas, instead of Father Christmas.
Over Christmas, A was adamant, he would not buy me a gift. Long story short, he bought me a gift in the end. Which he refused to wrap and stored openly in the house we were housesitting at the time.
Naturally, I bought A a gift! However, because he was born on the 4th of January and I know birthdays are a big deal to him, the Christmas gift was really more of a gesture than an actual gift.
A couple of days before Christmas the fun and games began…
A and I started a game of guessing what our presents were. What started in a mindless game, ended in hours of fun and laughter, prompted by interesting conversations and quality time together!
Here’s where I am going with this
Neither A nor my primary love language is receiving gifts. Because we took the time to go deeper and wider than just the gift, we had hours of quality time and had the opportunity to use words of affirmation.
3 Birds, 1 Stone.
Recap of the 5 Love Languages in preparations for Valentine’s Day 2018
So while we are on the topic of love, love languages are the five ways in which people speak and understand emotional love.
Here’s a quick recap of what they are and what they entail.
1. Words of Affirmation
Verbal compliments or words of appreciation. If you partner receives love through words of affirmation, it’s time to start paying attention to little things they may be doing.
Here’s are a couple of examples:
- if she always wears her hair up, notice the effort she has gone to, to blow dry and straighten those locks.
- tell your man he looks hot in a shirt, tell him, you notice how hard he is working and you appreciate the fact that he is working to provide for the family.
A simple straightforward sentence may mean, you noticed and appreciate your partner.
2. Receiving Gifts
Gifts say my partner was thinking of me. If you refuse to buy roses on Valentine’s day – I’m with you, it is simply ridiculously priced! But go out of your way to find something that will appeal to your spouse, regardless of the date!
Make an effort to get her a dotted journal in a week or two. Or a single Protea.
Get him a second-hand book, because he might like and read it.
Buy a freaking teapot because he refuses to drink tea unless it’s made in a teapot, – regardless of whether he actually really drinks tea or not!
3. Quality Time
Switch off the TV and put aside your mobile phone.
Quality time implies, undivided, undistracted attention! It may cost you a babysitter or it could be as simple as leaving the kids at home for half an hour, while you and your partner go for a walk.
4. Physical Touch
Physical touch is sex, holding hands, kissing and cuddling. If your partner’s love language is physical touch, make time for cuddles and casual touch as you walk past the person.
How about you celebrating valentine’s day with a tickle session, food fight or a playful wrestling match?
5. Acts of Service
Acts of service are about doing something out of the ordinary, that is meaningful to your partner. Doing the dishes, when it really is your daily chore in your household isn’t extraordinary or meaningful.
Doing something considerate, that requires thought, planning, time and or effort, done with a positive attitude, is an expression of love.